Why Every Mother Should Stop Talking About Catherine Middleton

The Duke & Duchess of Cambridge

In the past few days the press has been filled with the news that their Royal Highnesses, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, are expecting their first child. Every detail has been breathlessly reported, and everyone, it seems, has speculated on names. An Australian radio station even called the hospital, where Catherine has been staying because of acute morning sickness, convincing the poor nurse on duty that it was the Queen calling and tricking her into giving the kind of information that should only be told to the expectant parents.

Sound familiar? Every one of us who have gone through pregnancy have fallen under the same kind of scrutiny. Not, perhaps, to the degree that the future king and queen of England receive, of course. As prominent members of what most of us, even Americans, refer to as the Royal Family, they expect to live under a microscope. But do we really deserve a moment-to-moment description of Catherine's pregnancy?

Before any mother answers, "yes," think back to your own experience. Remember learning you were pregnant, who you told first, who you waited to tell, whether or not you had morning sickness. Also think about all the advice you got, the suggestions for names, and the detailed questions from people you thought you only knew casually. If you want to know what it's like to be a celebrity, get pregnant.

I remember my first pregnancy. My husband and I were thrilled, and wanted to tell people right away. As soon as people found out I was pregnant, I was inundated with advice. And baby names. And intimate questions. It is as if a woman, as soon as she is pregnant, stops being an individual and becomes a mere vessel, a curiosity for family, friends, acquaintances and even strangers to poke, prod, and examine. People I would never have expected tried to convince me that they knew the perfect name for our baby. Strangers would offer unsolicited advice, and sometimes even ask to touch my stomach. It was as if my personal space bubble had disappeared.

I shudder when I imagine what it is like for the Duke and Duchess. How many of us would have sent out a press release announcing our pregnancy? Or welcome long articles speculating about what boy names?

So, all you moms out there, let's give Kate a break. In spite of her title and position in the royal family, she's still a mother herself. Let's all remind people that, regardless of fancy titles, she's still a pregnant mother-to-be. Just remember what that was like.

So, all you fellow moms out there. Think back

Help! My Child Doesn't Want To Read!

As a parent, there are few things more discouraging than to have a reluctant reader for a child. We all learn to read at our own rate, and everyone "gets it" at a different age. From K-2, reading levels can range within the same grade from, well, K-2. Often reluctant readers are simply still in the "putting it together" stage, where "decoding" words and sounds is still work. (Like learning to drive -- how many of us were sure we would never know how to steer, check our mirrors, monitor our speed, watch the road, etc., all at once?)

But what happens when an emerging reader becomes a reluctant reader because they have become frustated by a teacher or learning system? You can have a child uninterested in reading, who sees it as a chore, or not worth the effort.

But here's the good news -- with the right kind of support, and the right book, reluctant readers can become interested readers.

The first thing is to keep doing what you are most likely already doing -- read daily with her. It is amazing what even 20 minutes a day of reading together can do to help build a confident reader. And any educator will tell you that the key in a student's learning is in a parent's interest and involvement in it.

There are many different ways of reading with an emerging reader, and they all work at different times. Don't be worried about following a specific way of doing it. Sit side by side, and both of you follow the test. Run your finger along the words, use a ruler or other marker to underline the sentence to make it easier to read, take turns reading by the word or by the sentence or by the page. Make it a game -- have him read all the words that begin with a certain letter, or assign her a word to read every time it appears in the text. Use your instinct! You will know very quickly what he responds to, and what is working.

Be relaxed, and try to avoid frustration. Your goal is to help your child enjoy reading, so make it fun. If she struggles to read a word, celebrate it when she gets it right, even when she sees the same word for the sixth time in the text. Congratulate her for working hard to use the skills she is learning to decode the words, and reinforce that you are thrilled every time she can do it on her own.

Model reading -- let your child see you read. Discuss what you have been reading. When you do this, you are showing him what comprehension is really all about -- understanding what you read and talking about it.  And it doesn't have to be just books -- news articles (age appropriate), non-fiction books, even cookbooks. Every time you talk about what you learned from something you read, it reinforces the "why" to reading.

Play reading games! I am currently recommending Erudition, a game that makes reading sight words fun. It can be tailored to different reading levels, can be played in several ways, and can be played by multiple reading levels simultaneously. And it is fun! The amazing teacher who recommended had her 4-year-old and 7-year-old playing it together, and they both had a great time.

Have an ereader or a tablet with an ereader app? Try reading on it instead of a traditional book. There are also some great books that have interactive apps, and there are some good free games that require the player to be able to read and answer questions to advance. I have used them with competitive, impatient readers, and seen them quickly master decoding and comprehension techniques they had struggled with. Make sure, though, that it is fun for you, too.

It is okay to read a book she liked when she was younger, or has read often. Favorite books are favorites for a reason -- they resonate with us. If your child wore out that Dora the Explorer book, suggest you read it together. Those are the books that will get him reading to you.

Finally, be creative in what you offer your child to read. Anything that sparks his interest should be your starting point. Within every reading level there are books that are sure to spark your child's interest. Star Wars? Barbie? The latest Disney princess? Ballet? Soccer? Great! Go find that book genre and say, "Let's read this."

Of course, finding a book to read that will capture the imagination can seem daunting. I turned to my own panel of experts, the amazing members of the Betsy-Tacy email list, for suggestions of books that spark the imagination in readers. They are librarians, teachers, authors, moms, and readers, who all make suggestions from their own experience.

If you try them all, and nothing works, let me know!! I will keep looking and suggesting as long as there are potential readers needing something to spark their imaginations.

Remember -- have fun! Sure, it's important for our children to master reading so they can suceed at their schoolwork, but reading a book for pleasure should also be valued as highly. When you read a book you enjoy with your child, they will feel that. Their "takeaway" will be that reading is a good thing, a desired thing.

Below is my list of some "try them" picture books. All of these can be found in libraries, and many of them may even be in your child's classroom. Have a great time!

Duck at the Door by Jackie Urbanovic
If You Give a Mouse a Cookie and others in the series by Laura Numeroff
Nappy Hair by Carolivia Herron
Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats
Baby Come Out and others by Fran Manushkin
She Come Bringing Me That Little Baby Girl by Eloise Greenfield
One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish by Dr. Suess
Rainbow Fish by Marcus Pfister
Oliver and Amanda Pig series by Jean Van Leeuwen
Yoko Learns To Read by Rosemary Wells
Frog and Toad series by Arnold Lobel
Little Bear series by Else Holmelund Minarik (illustrated by Maurice Sendak)
Amelia Bedelia series by Peggy Parish
How Rocket Learned To Read by Tad Hills
The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore by William Joyce