Children's birthday parties

Today I took my girls to a birthday party. The space was great -- big, with lots of games to keep everyone busy, as well as a lot of space for running around as five and six year olds are wont to do. The host family generously invited siblings, as well.

Ironically, the party space was in Snoqualmie, and we passed Carly's memorial spot on the way, which always tugs at my heart. Carly was 16 when she and another girl were killed in a car crash, on the way home from a church group meeting. One girl, thankfully, survived with superficial wounds. Carly was a bright, shooting star, and was the light of her family.

But back to the birthday. It was a pretty good party, but there were a few things about it that bugged me. I admit these are pretty selfish.

First, there didn't seem to be much of an information flow going. At the bar there were ice cream sundaes, punch, and sandwiches, but no announced it. I sort of figured it out on my own after seeing ice cream dipped and served. The only thing that was really announced was singing Happy Birthday and cake, and then it was largely left to the parents there to round up kids. That, and the group photo. And, even then, it wasn't clear which kids were to be in the photo and which ones weren't.

Present opening was not announced, either, and the birthday girl was stuck in a tiny space with the kids all crowded around. And while the mom hung out at the ice cream bar, and seemed to be taking care of the cake and ice cream, the children pushed closer and closer until some other parents organized them. Even then my little one cried because none of the crowding children would widen the circle to allow her in to watch. Finally the grandpa lifted her over to the other side of the group, behind the birthday girl, so she could see. Gone to waste was a big stage, with stairs, where she could have sat while the kids spread out.

I also confess I felt a bit like a fish out of water. I spent the majority of my time standing alone, watching other adults chat with each other. The few times I approached anyone, the conversations were, for the most part, brief and superficial. Eventually I got involved in a lengthy conversation with the birthday girl's grandpa, who was interesting, and kind, and interested in what I had to say. Children seem to have an easier time, generally just accepting unknown children to join in the fun. None of the parents who did not already know me seemed the least inclined to strike up a conversation, even in proximity, but just give me one of those coldy curious, "So who are you?" looks.

On the other hand, the cake was great, and there was plenty for everyone.