Yesterday would have been my mother's 80th birthday. She died at age 64, one week after Easter 1992 at 10:43am while people in churches in Minnesota, Indiana and Wisconsin were praying for her.
My mother was an amazing person. Everyone liked her, and wanted her to be their best friend. She would walk into a party, and within ten minutes have met everyone and livened things up just by being there. She set the example for what a feminist should be: strong, capable, an advocate for human rights, and always striving to better herself.
I spent a lot of time thinking about her yesterday. And with them came a whole host of "would haves."
We would have, either last weekend or this weekend, had a big birthday bash for her. I can still recall my grandfather's 80th birthday party, and my grandmother. Both were big parties, with a lot of family and friends in attendance, good food, a krinsekake and a lot of talking. My mother's party probably would have been in Minneapolis, with the host of friends who still live in Minneapolis, relatives from the surrounding states, and surprise guests.
My children would have the best grandmother in the world (and the ones that they do know set the bar pretty high, believe me), and I would have had the joy to see her love and nurture them. Her one regret in dying, she confided in a friend, was that she would never hold her grandchildren. My brothers and I both feel that absence, too.
She would have criticized Clinton through his presidency (she didn't like him -- she preferred a more liberal Democrat), but would have loved seeing Obama sworn in. And she would be so pleased seeing Hillary Clinton re-open relations with China.
She would have come and stayed with me when I had my babies, and would have been a willing babysitter when we wanted to go on a vacation without them.
Most of all, I would have had another 16 years of wonderful friendship.
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