A couple of weeks ago, I was on baby duty with my teenage daughter in our church's nursery during one of the services. An adorable 2-year-old girl was there playing with us, and memories of being a new mother flooded back to me as I started to answer my daughter's questions about taking care of babies. It got me to thinking about what kind of advice I would want to give a new parent. Here are a few of my essential tips:

1. Use a "doula." Whether you hire a doula or enlist the help of a capable friend or family member, get help for at least the first week or two. Having someone on hand to keep you and your husband fed, keep your house clean, look after the baby while you sleep, and politely suggest visitors leave when you are tired is an enormous help. Check your health insurance coverage -- many plans provide a doula for the first few days.

2. Trust your instinct. You will have a lot of plans and ideas, and get a lot of advice (like this!) from experienced parents, about how to care for your baby. But be ready to do what's best for baby. You will hear countless stories from parents that start out, "We planned to____ but...." One baby will sleep best in a crib, while another tucked in with parents. One baby may fall asleep being rocked, another may find it stimulating. Don't worry about what you think you are supposed to be doing: the right thing is what works.
 

What do I do now?



3. Stick with breastfeeding. The first few days of breastfeeding can be a challenge. Baby needs to learn how to eat, and that sometimes takes some trial and error. But it is well worth it. Nighttime feedings are faster, hungry baby eats immediately, and there's no clean-up. Breastfeeding helps the uterus contract more quickly, and it burns a lot of calories, helping you regain your pre-pregnancy figure more rapidly. (I actually looked better!) The best tool: a breastfeeding pillow to put your baby at the right height and spare your arms.



4. Always keep a diaper bag packed and in the car. Include two complete changes of clothing, a hat, burp cloths, diapers, baby wipes, a blanket, a change of shirt for you, two plastic bags for wet clothing and dirty diapers, changing pad, antiseptic wipes for cleanup, plus items for feeding. This works for years, transitioning into a toy/change of clothes bag for your toddler/preschooler.



5. Hold your baby. Babies should be held as much as possible for the first month or two. This is a great job for Grandma, especially if she is visiting but not your choice for doula, as well as Dad and other family. A sling or a carrier such as a Baby Bjorn are great for freeing up your arms and letting baby still feel close. But just sitting and holding your baby can be relaxing and comforting for both of you.



6. Develop a support system. Get to know your baby's doctor and especially the nurses. Often they know more than the doctors. Your ob & nurse can be a great resource as well -- mine had a nursing specialist on staff who not only gave me breastfeeding advice, but advice about the baby's health. Go on line to commisserate with other new mothers. Find your "go-to" person who seems to have all the answers. Mine was my sister-in-law who was a La Leche leader and mother of two. Find a mothers' group in your community (churches are a great place to start) to get together with other new mothers once a week. If you can't find one, start one.



7. Cloth diapers: your best friend. Not the pre-folded, the unfolded ones. They are great for so many things: as burp cloths, an emergency cloth to lay on a dirty surface if you have to put down your baby, and as an emergency breast pad. Later on, they make fantastic, lint-free dust cloths.

8. One acronym: DVR. If you do not already have TiVo or another recording device, invest in one. You will never miss an episode of your favorite tv shows, and you can watch them at your convenience. For a new mother, this can mean at 3 a.m. when you are nursing, or up with a wide-awake baby. (It happens)



9. Use a video baby monitor. There are many baby monitors on the market, but you will quickly find that just hearing the baby is not enough. You will find yourself more relaxed and productive if you can occasionally glance at a picture of your sleeping baby, because you will know what those noises are. Every parent goes through the stage of leaning close to make sure the baby is still breathing. Being able to watch from another room helps you break free.



10. Read to your baby. I know it sounds awkward, but it is fun, and great for your baby. Start with simple, small board books with photographs, especially animals, in them. I used to read to my daughters when they were lying on the changing table after they were clean and dressed.

Make no mistake, caring for a newborn takes a lot of stamina, patience, and work. But it is worth every second.

I wrote this blog post while participating in the TwitterMoms and Lysol® Wee Wisdom blogging program, making me eligible to get a $50 gift card. For more information on how you can participate, click here.